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31Jul 13

P is for Planning/Perspective

P is for Planning Perspective

In my humble opinion, the alphabet should start with the letter P. ‘Why?’ I hear you ask. Well, because P stands for planning, and most things that end well start with a plan of some sort.

Planning through pregnancy is important, and I’m sure it will become increasingly so, the further I forage into parenthood. ‘Fail to plan, plan to fail’ and what not, but having learnt early in my pregnancy that things don’t always go to plan I’ve had to adopt a more relaxed approach.


Pregnancy plan

• Enjoy pregnancyp-planning-cross  who could really enjoy what has felt like a 30 week hangover???

• Stay healthy p-planning-cross  went off meat and developed a third trimester sweet tooth

• Exercise lots and stop work at 38 weeks  p-planning-cross Ante natal aqua aerobics stopped at 13 weeks thanks to SPD – crawling to a 36 week end date

• Have a name by 20 weeks p-planning-cross  umm bump?!?

• Have everything bought and ready by 24 weeks p-planning-cross  still reading up on the millions of products out there, plus 10 week pay delay has meant involuntary saving until early August.

• Look forward to the birth p-planning-tick actually, call me crazy, but this is one thing that I’ve managed to hold on to. Cannot wait!!!

In light of all these failed plans, cue another P – ‘perspective’. (What’s the point in having a mind if you can’t change it?!) When plans fail, I’ve finally learnt to put things in perspective and stay happy (much to my husband’s delight).

Easier said than done though… I mean, I love making plans and writing lists, despite avoiding them like the plague when tasked with any form of essay writing through my school years (waste of time in my opinion). Lists are a staple feature in my usual day (pre-baby brain too) and, if my husband had a penny for every time I tried to discuss our plans about anything from this weekend to 5 years’ time, these three letters S-M-P (statutory maternity pay) would mean nothing to me.

Being a bit of a self-confessed control freak, it took many days of chats (rants), tears (we can blame the hormones but I think I’m just a serial crier) and 48hr panic induced stress headaches to get me to let go when things don’t go as hoped, and to adopt this more relaxed approach. To look at the bigger picture, I know I’m not the only one who struggles to do this and to ignore comments and questions that add to the pressure (and boy do people comment at the moment!!):

Click to enlarge

Often, fear-mongering and socially imposed pregnancy and mum-to-be milestones, measurements and timelines (that are often unfounded) add pressure to conform to a said norm. We embrace cultural diversity and we are all different so why should this change when it comes to pregnancy lifestyle choice or parenting style? Sure plans, guidelines and preparation can hel,  but sometimes life just happens and things don’t go to plan so having a bit of perspective is a great way to keep stress levels down on these occasions.

With only 6 weeks to go, my unborn daughter may not have a name yet (Liberty, Aria, Jaime, Petra, Lana, Paz, Zaya…help!?), nor much to wear…although in this heat a nappy is more than enough (hmmm, how about Mowgli?!), but she does, more importantly, have loving parents who can’t wait to introduce her to the world. Parents who are her to help her reach her potential and who think daily about how they’d like to raise their child.

I may have to drag myself out of bed every day unsure as to whether the next move will be the one that shatters my pelvis, and, I might have had to watch Race for Life from the side-lines over the weekend as opposed to participating as planned. However, my little girl is healthy and, believe it or not, so am I. Plus, I haven’t had any real pregnancy complications and physiotherapy (massage) has been quite enjoyable!

Maybe I haven’t managed to keep up with my pregnancy eating plan, having started my day with a Smarties McFlurry for breakfast on occasions (yes they serve them before 10.30am!!). But, I have eaten quite well in general and been lucky to crave healthy food mostly (other than happy meals, macaroni cheese, Steak McCoys) and the occasional treat won’t harm and doesn’t make me a bad mother.

…they kind of look the same to me

So what if I can’t quite say that I’ve enjoyed my pregnancy? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done to be honest, physically and mentally. I have however learnt a lot about myself, matured and discovered that I’m a lot stronger than I thought I was. Contractions and labour I’m so ready for you!!!

In these last few weeks while running (limping) around buying baby bits, much later than planned, I’ll be remembering to keep everything in perspective and not go crazy if I don’t find that limited edition Bugaboo buggy I’ve had my eye on. A new-born baby has fewer real needs than her more materialistic mother and will be more than happy with some warm milk and a loving home.  Hopefully, this experience will make me more relaxed about my first ‘6 weeks with baby plan’…and all the others to follow.



What I’ve bought so far v list of essentials…wish me luck

But for now, I’m glad that our little world in East London is a happier place now that I’ve prioritised a new P.

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About Mumphabet…

Welcome to my blog Mumphabet! My name is Emize – my parents tell me it means ‘whatever I chose to be’ - quite a powerful meaning right?! I was born and raised in London and currently live in east London with my lovely husband and bump, soon to be daughter.

Mumphabet is where I’ll be sharing an alternative A-Z of random observations, tips, findings and how to make the most of some lovely, and not so lovely, realities related to motherhood. Join me as I make the transition from a ‘MeMe’ (free-spirited, fun loving, slightly selfish, working woman) to full time Mummy, whilst trying not to lose myself in the process…

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